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Tuesday, June 26, 2012

HELLO AGAIN!

Hello again, dear friends!  Sorry about not posting anything lately.  Was trying to figure out whether I wanted to continue on with blogging or not.  Sometimes I get quite frustrated with the whole thing, after all, I'll never be one of those bloggers that they write about in magazines.  The ones with beautiful photography and wonderful witty things to say.  I always tell myself that some day I'll learn to take a good photo, but then, who am I kidding?  All that technical stuff bores me to bits, and I know I will never learn.  And I don't want to, either!  Nope, what I have here is just your run of the mill type of blog with a few sweet friends.  And that sounds just about perfect!  So I suppose I'll prattle on, hoping that you won't become too bored. 

So now that is out of the way, what have I been up to?  Jamie and I painted the service  porch, but I won't write about that because reading about painting is like, well, watching paint dry!  Here's how it looks all sparkling and fresh.:
The strays love the bench.  I still have to find something to hang on the wall, just waiting for something to inspire me.  This is where we have our lunch every day that is sunny.

Speaking of sunny days, we have had more than our fair share, I'd say we are experiencing a drought.  So a good portion of my day is spent watering the garden.  But that doesn't stop the binder and pig weed from growing or the purslane.  I've never seen such an abundance of weeds.  Oh well!  At least the pig weed and purslane is edible, so  if all else fails, we can always eat them.  Between the weather and all the wildlife that makes my garden their favorite delicatessen, we just might need to do this!  But the dry conditions haven't bothered or roses.  That's my beloved New Dawn on the header picture and the one to the right is Evelyn that grows by the  porch.

The other day I received a strange package in the mail.  It was a box of pictures from my mother.  She's getting rid of things and she wanted me to have some of my childhood.  I came to a sort of epiphany looking through those old pictures.  One was a  newspaper clipping from the time I won a blue ribbon at a fair when I was eleven.  It was a group photo and I was trying to locate myself, but had to read the copy to figure out where I was.  The reason I couldn't figure it out was because I was looking for a "fat little kid".  I have three older sisters and to this very day they like to remind me that I was a fat little kid.  I'm afraid my mother instilled in us a spirit of competitiveness  (or is it jealousy?) that some of my sisters have never outgrown.  We were always competing who had the most boyfriends, the thinnest, the most successful, the most popular, etc.  It didn't help that my mother put a lot of value on appearances.  So anyway, I always grew up thinking I was fat.  I can remember clearly having an argument about the dress I was wearing in the picture because my mother wanted me to wear a fancy dress, but my 4-H instructor told us to wear a plain cotton dress.  My mother told me I would look fat in it.  She used the word fat a lot back then, whenever she was angry with any of us, she wouldn't tell us, but would start with the"you look fat" tirades.    What I found in the picture was a very tall, healthy young girl with very nice legs.  Didn't look at all like the image  of the blob I had been carrying around in my head for the past fourty years. 

This got me to thinking.  Suppose you lived back in colonial times when there were no scales to weigh you and all your clothes were handmade, so you weren't aware of sizes and there were no magazines to tell you what a beautiful woman should look like.  Would you be happy about your size and shape?  I'm a tall, sturdy woman, that looks more like Jane Russell than I'll ever resemble a character out of a Jane Austen novel.  I go out where I should go out and in where I should go in.  My husband finds me attractive.  I'm healthy.  I can work hard all day.  I have long legs that can swing easily over a fence or take long strides to get me where I need to go fast.  So yes, I am happy with my body. After many years, I'm going to stop beating myself up because the scale  no longer registers under the 110 mark or that I'll never have a twenty-three inch waist again.  From here on out, I'm going to celebrate that I am a woman.  How about joining me?

36 comments:

  1. I'm glad you decided to blog again! Your porch and roses SHOULD be in a magazine--that is one sweet spot. It makes me sad at how thoughtless and mean siblings can be. I have first hand knowledge of that, too.

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    1. Thank you very much! Whenever I tell people that I have three sisters and they say they wished they had a sister, I gladly offer them mine. Ha! You know that saying that "My family put the fun in dysfunctional? I always say that my family put the diss in diss-functional. Well, maybe it helps to know that you are not the only one? All is not sweetness and light in blogging land!

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  2. Dear Jane,
    I know all about the feeling not up to par with the fancy blogs out there. I think you're blog is lovely ~ your blog header is gorgeous! I decided having a little blog with a small circle of friends suits me fine.
    Hope your day is beautiful!

    P.S. Your porch looks great! What a wonderful spot to enjoy your lunch.
    Hugs))

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    1. Hi Laurie! Thank you! Still and all, I would like to be a bit more artistic and be more knowledgeable for you all. And I'd like to have my pictures show up where they are supposed, too! Ha! But like you, I find this small circle of friends ideal. BTW, anyone is welcome to join our little group!

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  3. Hello Jane,

    First off, I would much rather read one of your posts, and see your photos of your cute little cottage than to read some boring magazine! :)

    I am also tall with long legs and some curves, I never liked those glossy photos of women in magazines...my husband is attracted to me & that is all that matters!
    I do wish I had more brains though, the older I get...there should be a trade-off when looks fade with age, we should all become genuises (see I can't even spell geniouses!)

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    1. Thank you, Lisa! Reading your blog, we seem very wise to me in all that matters in life. Hang fry if we cannot spell genius or answer the thousand dollar question on mythology on Jeopardy. (I misspelled Jeopardy, thank goodness for spellcheck!)

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    2. Meant to write "you" not "we". My mind was skipping along to the next sentence ahead of my typing skills again!

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  4. Your porch looks great! Sometimes I wish we had a porch, but instead we have a huge deck that sometimes we sleep outside on and can watch the stars, so I will take it! I struggle with body image a lot .. I hope you do keep your blog, I love reading it!

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    1. Hi Jane! Sleeping under the stars sounds so romantic. We're dedicated star gazers around here and make a special day of it when the Perseids meteor shower comes around. I pray that it won't take you as long as it took me to come to accept your body image. I even struggled with anorexia (although at the time we didn't know that is what it was called) when I was a teen, eating only a 1/2 an individual serving of plain non-fat yogurt a day. From what I see of the pictures on your blog, you have no reason to have a negative body image. But of course knowing and "knowing" are two different things, aren't they?

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  5. Hi Jane! I think you write beautifully! I like the words you use like "prattle" and the image I get when you write "long legs that can swing easily over a fence"! ha. And you are right, that was an epiphany..all that time you should've been enjoying your thinness and your mom had you thinking you were fat!

    I love your porch...I would love to sit and chat there. And that is what I look for in blogging. I am stopping over to chat! If you look over your posts and which ones were the most popular by the number of comments, you can see it was the posts when you just chatted!

    The sunlight streaming through your lilies is pretty. love,andrea

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    1. Hi Andrea! One of the main reasons I decided to continue on was so that I could communicate with you! Have to start a new comment stream for us to "talk" back and forth. I wish I hadn't spent so much time thinking I was a little fat fatty too. But you should have seen the ugly glasses I had! Can't figure out if my mother was so concerned about looks she wold have bought those things for me. Nothing like being the tallest kid in class with ugly glasses to create a poor self image, didn't need the extra baggage of thinking I was the female equivalent of Pugsley Addams (from the Addams Family TV show)! If I can ever figure out how to scan and get the picture on the blog, I'll have to show you.

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    2. Hi ...ha...but don't you think all glasses during that time were ugly.
      I would never have the extra weight I have now if my husband didn't think I was fat when I was actually thin. (20 years ago) Because that just discouraged me and caused me to eat more sweets in response. And I only realized this when I looked back at old pictures too!

      Well, I enjoy talking with you because you have so much common sense. Not to mention I am stealing all your good recipes (just 2 weeks ago I made 2 batches of ginger creams and gave them away as gifts) and canning/gardening, etc knowledge :) Plus, we both know how to handle four sons!
      love,andrea

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    3. Didn't those glasses make everyone look like an old lady? Too bad we couldn't enjoy being thin. I remember my measurements when I got married were 35-23-34 and I thought I needed to lose weight! Gosh! Knowing what I know now, I would have gone around in a bikini all day long. Just kidding, but I would have at least enjoyed a piece of cake once in a great while without feeling guilty. BTW, you are not stealing my recipes, I gladly gave them to you. But you are correct, we are master boy wranglers!

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  6. I am so glad you decided to keep on posting, I love reading your blog, and am always happy when you write a new post! You have such wonderful things to say, and I love hearing about your home and garden.

    Your porch is so pretty! I love the nice white paint, and the green chairs (that is my favorite color of green). What a perfect place to enjoy lunch!

    I can so relate to what you said about your sisters, and the whole "fat" thing. I love my mother and sisters, but my mother was a perfectionist, and could be very critical as well. I was actually a thin to regular sized child myself, and remember being teased about having "thunder thighs" by my family as well. Which of course made me very conscience of my weight. (I also get the whole competing dynamic among sisters) I can also look back at pictures, and I always think, what were they talking about. But one does carry that darn "fat" word around, whether it is true or not. I was on one weird diet or another from the time I was a sixth grader, leading up to an extreme level of dieting in college that was border line dangerous. I put on a little weight with my kids, and again, the family comments about weight were there again, I look back at pictures when the kids were little, and I thought I was so huge, the pictures tell another story. Had I stayed put with that weight I would have been fine, but years of yo-yo dieting have done in my metabolism. I am at the point now where I have decided to not be apologetic about my weight, and to just get out there and live. Love the thoughts about living in colonial times!

    Your words are inspiring!!

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    1. Thanks April! That's so sweet of you to say. I'm glad I wrote about the sisters and "fat" thing. I was hesitant because I know bloggers like to read sweetness and light. But it is the reality of my life, and I want to have an honest blog. Years of starving myself have done in my metabolism too. I simply was never meant to be a tiny little will-o-wisp and it's about time I accepted it. Sounds like you have it figured out too.

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  7. Jane I love your porch such a lovely place for lunch or tea. I love the green of your table and chairs a lovely color that in winter brings a cheer.

    I agree we need to love ourselves it is so hard with the way things are advertised, the way we compare ourselves to others, and we can be so hard on others who are different etc.

    I will go along with you I have been thinking about it a lot so your post was a push to stop thinking and doing.

    Blessings
    Erika

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    1. Thanks Erika! The green was just one of those happy accidents. I order them from a clearance catalog and pushed the wrong color button. Glad I did! Too bad society cannot embrace differences. Why do we have to mold everyone into one big think-alike, look-alike mass?

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  8. Dear Jane ~ I think most bloggers, myself included, feel bogged down at times and feel like quitting. I am so glad you are still here. Your blog is 'real' it's about your life and what moves you.

    I love your header picture and most definitely love your porch. What a wonderful place to relax.

    I'm trying to age gracefully, and that is by taking this older post menopausal body and enjoying each day. We have much to be thankful for.

    Enjoy the rest of your week ~ FlowerLady

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    1. Hi Rainey! Thought you might enjoy the roses. I have a long way to go before my yard is as pretty as yours, but I'm working on it, with you as an inspiration! You're also an inspiration of someone who is aging gracefully. Your certainly prove that just because you are no longer sixteen,it doesn't mean you need to sit on the porch and rock! Bless you Rainey!

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  9. Isn't it funny how we all hear those little voices in our heads -- the ones that whisper discouragement.

    Please don't stop blogging -- I enjoy reading about your life.

    And yes, even though I need to lose weight (for health reasons far more than vanity, but I won't lie and say vanity doesn't apply too) I am trying to remember that even in its imperfect state my body serves me well.

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    1. Hi Shara! What I love about blogging is having these conversations with you all. I'd love to lose some weight too. Just to make sure I don't get diabetes that plagues my family, but it would be nice to have a nice small waist again, I can honestly say!

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  10. Hi Jane, your post really touched my heart. I am with you on this one, and I also want to celebrate who I am as a woman! When I was growing up I was bullied quite a lot by the kids at school. For years I was beaten and insulted for a lack of physical coordination that was brought on by long bouts of childhood illness. I too was called fat by the kids, and now when I see the pictures I realize I was just a normal, little bucked teeth girl with big glasses! :) For a long time it changed the way I perceived myself. But I had the same epiphany a few years ago too.

    As for your blog Jane, I really do love it. You are insightful and the info you share is really helpful. Your blog is in my top three favorites list! You are also really supportive of others. Some of these big glossy blogs, with 500 plus followers are often very self-centered. They are all about "my art" "my life" "my relationships" ect... Your blog has a "generous" feel to it. I'm glad your blog is just what it is, meaningful, kind, balanced and interesting! With Love, Delisa :)

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    1. Ah, Delisa! You make me want to cry! That was just the sweetest thing to say. Well, you certainly grew up to be a lovely woman. Weren't glasses atrocious back then? Ha! Remember those big goggles that everyone wore in the 80s? Oh boy, what were we thinking? I'll pop over to your blog to answer your question about the new Jane Austen book.

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  11. Hi, just me again Jane! I forgot to ask, have you seen the new edition of the Jane Austen Knits magazine? It has some wonderful patterns and stories. I think it was even better than the first one. I found it in Book a Million the other day. Delisa :)

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  12. Hi Jane - I am so glad you have not given up blogging. I find your blog comforting and cosy. Here in the UK I cannot find friends who are interested in traditional homemaking and I love to hear all about your life. As you know I am about to embark on a move to follow my dreams that will probably mean my husband commuting to us weekly so we have that in common too.
    I also feel insecure about my blog. I am not used to going everywhere with a camera and am not good at photography. This means that I have no images to go along with the plenty(lol!) I have to say and so there are longer gaps between my posts while I try and scramble together some photos. Sometimes I wish I could just post words and have no photos.
    I have always struggled with my weight but I am lucky enough to be surrounded by people that have never ever been critical of the way I look. My husband likes my figure and Little Son says I am cosy - what more could a girl want! Lily. xxx

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    1. Yes, I've been reading about your move. Very excited for you. You'll have to brush up on your photography skills because I know I'm not the only one who will want to see pictures of your new home. It sounds very charming. I think a commuter marriage is pretty nice. It forces you to really talk because you can't just have silence on a phone can you? And of course only seeing each other on weekends really makes you appreciate each other. I really think it strengthened our marriage. And of course, it's nice to know that I'm capable of doing for myself. I think being described as cozy is one of the very nicest compliments anyone can give you. Especially a little son!

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  13. OH Jane I am so glad you are going to continue blogging! Maybe you won't be a blogger with a gazillion followers but you seem like a nice person, living a life like most of us. I would love to sit on your pretty porch and have a glass of tea! Frankly, I can't look at those mega-gutting your house blogs- too much dissatisfaction for me. I would rather read about someone's life I like. I think we had the same mother- I wasn't pretty enough- my mother was a cheerleader/ prom-queen. But I think I am OK. So hot and dry here in GA as well. Angela

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    1. Hi Angela! I love to look at those fancy blogs but I never comment on them. Somehow it seems like writing a letter to an editor. Guess I'm happy being a small fish in a very large pond! But I'd still like to be able to make more attractive posts, just don't want to put the time and energy into learning how. I was a bit worried about how what I wrote about my family would be accepted (is that the word I'm looking for?) but now I'm glad I wrote it. Seems I'm not the only one out there with such experiences. Isn't it nice to know we are not alone?

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  14. dear jane,
    i like your blog and i hope you continue blogging.i feel me here at home.
    your porch is a dream,i love the colorful furniture,they are wonderful.your new header is great.
    love and hugs,
    regina

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  15. Hi Jane! Living by a lake would be so refreshing! The trouble with the ocean, is that there are lots of people who also want to go visit. So we try to go there on off-days when there is less people!

    Sometimes we get planes overhead that are diverted/delayed in landing from Philly airport (which is 45 mins from here) for some reason and need to circle around. Many years ago, the Concorde came to our local airport in DE and flew right over my house, very low, twice....coming and going. It was so neat/scarey! When I was young in western Pa, I only saw planes very high up in the sky as a small speck...I could hardly see them...but one day one came lower (which would be still considered very high here) and I was so scared! ha.
    love,andrea

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  16. Wow, you've had excitement in the past with planes! Sometimes when we sit on the beach we have some fighter jets fly by. They are very neat.

    Once around midnight we had helicopters shining lights down on our cul de sac, and here a convict who was taken to the hospital (which is across the road from my development) escaped. (makes you feel safe at night..ha!)
    love,andrea

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  17. I love your blog. I sometimes get worried about not having a "popular blog" too, but really, having a few good lady friends come and visit your blog is much better. No one wants phony blog friends!

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    1. Hi Mara! Thanks! What frustrates me is that I feel I'm not doing a good enough job, making it interesting, beautiful, creative, etc. You are right about it being better to have a few blogging friends. It's nice to visit the other blogs and know who the other commenters are. It like an old fashioned sewing circle or something.

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  18. Excellent point about no magazines telling us who was beautiful and who wasn't and no sizes... I think I would be happy with what I am, but don't you think, even at that, women compare themselves to other women? Interesting about the "words" your mother was using to belittle you.

    The heat in our part of the country is seriously stressing my roses, yours are fantastic. And that porch! Beautiful! I enjoy your posts, I like your friendly "rambling" along that you do!

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    1. Hi Joy! How's all the redoing coming along? I suppose we would always compare ourselves to other women. Guess it's just the nature of women. You never see men doing this, do you? I'm afraid my mother was quite verbally abusive. Just my cross I must bare in life, at least it isn't anything like being chronically ill. Thank you for the encouragement!

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